04 Aug Getting Back to the Blog & Current Emotions
Hey ladiiieesss!!!!! OMG it’s been forever since I’ve last spoken to you all. You know how sometimes you just get in a funk? We all have our moments. I think I just needed a little break from things. I was viewing this blog more as a chore than a hobby so I needed to just step away for a bit and reevaluate why I started blogging in the first place. To jot down what’s going on in my life so I can look back in the future and of course to talk to you guys!
With that being said my emotions have been on high as of late. Which is partly another reason why I haven’t been blogging. Recently I was browsing the Internet for different quotes and things that kind of explain how I was feeling when I found the quote above. Granted most people have siblings so a lot of you reading this might not understand exactly how true this quote is, so let me try to explain.
When you have a sibling, be it a sister or a brother, that’s a permanent spot that no one can replace. Your sister will always be your sister and your brother will always be your brother. Sure you might not be close but that’s a place that your sibling will always hold. As an only child you don’t have that. You’re not someones permanent spot. Sometimes that’s a scary thought, for me at least. You feel like you’re disposable. Like you’re only important to someone when they need you to be. I’m sure that isn’t the case at all but when you’re caught up in your feelings your bound to think all types of crazy things. Little things cause me to overreact and think that I’m losing the people closest to me. I hate that. I wish that I felt that I was a permanent part of someones life. I’m sure my past friendships and how they ended has a lot to do with why I feel the way I do and why I react the way I do to certain things. I honestly think I’m a different breed of human lol. I tend to keep these feelings to myself which is counter productive because I end up writing things like this with tears pouring out of my eyes. But I think getting it down on paper it is just what I need.
For me being an only child brings on an onslaught of emotions that majority of the ones in my life can’t understand. Feelings that they will NEVER be able to understand. So what do you do when you the ones you turn to have never experienced the type of emotions that you’re feeling or have never been in the same boat as you? Internalize. Which as I mentioned before really doesn’t get you anywhere. That’s why I completely understand the quote above. You can’t get rid of being an only child. It’s something that’s stuck with you forever just like a disease. Of course being around my friends helps but then they go back to their families and siblings. At times I feel like I’m being a burden when I ask them to go places or do things with me because I know that they have their lives outside of me that they have to give attention to. I need to form an only child club lol.
I didn’t write this out of self pity or to get pity from others. I wrote it to get it off my chest. Now I feel a thousand times better :). I promise to do better as far as blogging guys! I’ve missed it! I’m striving to blog at least 3 times a week. Let’s see how that goes. Oh and happy Monday! Talk to you all later!
What are your thoughts on only children? Are any of you only children?