How true is that quote? Although I do think some of it is kind of exaggerated but overall it’s completely true. I was looking through some old pictures on my computer and stumbled upon it. It made me think about all the times that I’ve changed myself for someone to like me or be my friend. Not cool Darrica…..not cool. I think that’s something all of us go through at one point or another. We all have a built in desire to be accepted and when we’re not we may change some things about ourselves.
I had this friend who was really…..different. She definitely didn’t care what others thought and in a way I envied that. I’m the type of person who is always, for the most part, considering how other people view what I’m doing. How will this decision effect this person? or How will me taking this course of action change this persons view of me? I know in no way, shape, or form is that a bad thing. It’s important to consider other peoples feelings and views on certain things. I’m not going to say that none of these questions ever came up in her mind cause I’m no mind reader but from her actions it was kind of obvious that she wasn’t thinking along those lines. I was always like ‘man! I totally wish I could be like that!’ So ya know what I did……I tried to become that type of person. Not really inconsiderate just more of the type of person that she was. Ultimately I failed LOL! It taught me a valuable lesson though. In the end the person you really are on the inside is going to overpower anybody that you’re trying to become, no matter how much effort you put into it. And that’s ok. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. You are who you are. Granted there will be things that you have to change about yourself. Say for instance if I’m the most negative, rude, downright meanest person in the world. I wouldn’t expect someone like that to just say ‘well this is who I am. Accept it.’ Ummmmm……no. Doesn’t work like that. What I am saying is that while there are facets of our personalities that we all need to work on, don’t compromise who you are just to be liked or accepted from someone else.
A big part of that, I believe, is your circle of friends. Find people who love you and accept you for who you are. I’ve found that this takes time and patience. And if you know anything about me I’m one of the most impatient people you’ll ever meet. Sometimes finding a good friend takes a while. It did for me. I would say it wasn’t until I was about 18 or 19 that I really started to learn about myself and find out who Darrica really is. I’m not all the way there yet but I’m getting there. Around that time though is really when I no longer wanted to be anybody else and that’s when I found friends who accepted me for me. Now I have a group of friends, though small, that I’m comfortable with being in my own skin around and who don’t want me to change. They love who I am as a person and vice versa. And you know what ya’ll? I’m happy. Acting like someone who you’re not is tiring and frustrating. You’re constantly putting on an act and that’s exhausting! Friendships are supposed to be refreshing and fun and that’s what I have now. It’s awesome.
Another big part, in my opinion, is your family. To me my parents know me better than I know myself. They’re the first ones to know when I’m acting myself, which can be a little annoying at times but I digress (not you ma I’m talking about daddy *side eye*). Anywaaaay, they have always been there to put me in my place and to tell me to be myself. I can remember specifically this time when the friend I mentioned above started to draw on her hand. So I’m like ‘hey that must be the cool thing to do!’ so I grabbed a pen and started doodling away. My mom gave me the most telling look. It said ‘Darrica stop. That is not you. You need to quit.’ I quickly put the pen down and proceeded to hang my head in shame knowing good and well that she was right. I was a little embarrassed too cause it was just so unnecessary on my part. Why change who I am? If you don’t like my personality so be it. It is what it is. I’m just glad that I’m at the point where I can say that. Before it was always ‘OMG YOU DON’T LIKE ME?! WHY?! WHAT CAN I CHANGE?! HOW FAST CAN I CHANGE IT?!’ None of that nonsense anymore. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
That never gets old! Anyway I said all of that as a reminder to myself. I’m sure one day I’ll look back on this post and see how far I’ve come. I’ll be even more happy and content with who I am and I wouldn’t trade that for the world!
Have any of you had a similar experience? Are you more content with who you are now?