THE DREAM THAT GOT AWAY
The dream that I had always dreamed was finally becoming a reality. As I lay in my bed with the soft summer breeze gently blowing across my face, I realized that things were finally how they were supposed to be. I mean I had waited my whole life for this. Not long ago I moved out of my parents house into my own. It was a tough decision. For all of my life it was just the three of us. The comfort of being at home always felt like a warm blanket wrapped tightly around me, keeping me safe from all the ugly that this world has to offer.
As I got up to look out my window something told me that today was the day. Today was the day that I would get to meet her. Today was the day that all my hopes and dreams would become a reality. I mean like I said, I had been waiting my whole life for this. There were no more empty promises but only sweet realities that I was now able to accept. Toady was the day. I just knew it.
Although the softness of my bed invited me to stay for a little while longer, I happily got up and proceeded to get ready. I remembered to shower with my vanilla shower gel and to follow up with the matching lotion. I wanted her first scent of me to be one that she would always remember. At least I hope she would. As I continued to get myself ready memories of the past came flooding like a hurricane and I was unable to hold back tears. Tears of joy and sadness blurred into each other and I couldn’t tell where one started and one began. There were memories of countless conversations with my parents. Hurt feelings that only time could heal. Memories of times when I felt that no one would ever be able to understand me. But meeting her would change it all. The time had come for all the hurt feelings to melt away. For all the conversations I’ve had with my parents to have purpose. This was it and I was ready.
I finished getting dressed and decided to make myself a good breakfast. I figured it would be a long day and that with all the excitement eating would slip my mind so I needed to get some nourishment in while there was still time. I pulled out some fruit, made some pancakes and eggs and had myself a breakfast of champs……..ok I lied. That was actually all that was left in the fridge. Any emptiness that I had left would be quickly filled up when I finally got to meet her. The day I had been waiting for for my whole life was finally here.
I hadn’t gotten a phone call so I figured there was still time. Reading tends to calm my nerves. It takes me to a land far far away. I’m allowed to see the world through another persons eyes. See things in a way that I never would’ve saw them before. The thing about reading is it’s easy to get super engrossed, super fast. And that’s exactly what happened to me. Time flew before my eyes and I have no recollection of it. About 3 hours later I finally came to my senses and realized that I had somewhere to be and someone very special to meet. I checked my phone and my eyes grew as wide as the Grand Canyon. I was missing it. I was supposed to be there to meet her. How was it happening so fast???? These things usually take hours. As I scrolled through the many missed text messages and phone calls I realized that I needed to leave and I needed to leave fast.
I arrived rather quickly and immediately headed to room 504. As soon as I got of the elevator the cry that resonated through the hall sounded like the most beautiful orchestra I had ever heard. My feet carried me to the threshold of the door and there I saw her. Her tiny little face peeping through the blanket that she was wrapped up in. She looked like my baby pictures. The resemblance was clear. She was beautiful. And she was mine.
I had waited years upon years to have a sibling. And my sister was finally here. MY sister. As I looked at this little being carefully cradled in my mothers arms a complete sense of awe washed over me. I hesitantly took her from my mother and instantly felt a connection. My sister was finally here. She was here and no one could take that away from me. I cried, I laughed, and I stared at this little miracle that had finally arrived……
But then things started to get hazy. Instead of the lightweight of a newborn she started to feel like a ton of bricks in my arms slowly weighing me down. My parents started to disappear and things began to turn black. Her little majestic face turned into stone and then *poof* she was gone. Everything I had hoped for. Everything that I had dreamed of. Everything that made me complete was gone in an instant……
I woke up breathing heavy with a cold sweat. The dream that I’d been waiting for to become a reality was just that. A dream. A dream that I would hold on to forever. The dream that got away.